Say it ain’t soooooooo

Say it ain’t so!

Have you heard the latest COVID news and really wishing you hadn’t?


I know! I know! The first worry on everyone’s mind?

What am I going to do about my hair NOW????

Kid photo Image 2As Bruno Mars says: ‘Throw some perm on that attitude’

Just think about it Dear Readers: There’s gonna be no concerts happening until the dawn of forever; no camping until there’s frost on the ground; no skinny dipping in park lakes (not that moi has ever done that…. not remembering doesn’t count, right? Right!).

But I for one, (well yes there’s a lot more voices than the stated one in here, but they’re all self-isolating at the moment) have ecstatically happy news in the O. M. G.  Department

Twizzlers GummiesO.M.G.: Ommmmmm More Gummies

Brand new from Twizzlers!

And guess what? They melt great in popcorn too!

But now really Friends

There’s nothing to fear

I’ll wait right here

As you grab your ‘Nth’ beer

Whether you’re right or wrong

It really don’t matter

Cuz we’re gonna play the game called

Would.  You.  Rather.

Here goes:

  • Would you rather be locked up with Toronto Raptor Pascal Siakam or Blue Jays great, Joe Carter? Thoughts? Well…. one will serve you double doubles, but the other one knows how to get to third base. It’s all a matter of priorities, n’est pas?
  • Would you rather make your money being a hairdresser or a funeral director?

Hard to choose, they both make their money doing ‘die’ jobs.

  • Would you rather be a politician or a live theatre actor? Again, hard to choose; both have all their lines rehearsed and often they don’t mean a damn thing they’ve said once they’re off the stage.

Moving right along….which is to say at.  a   s. l. o. w. two metre pace:

Are you ready for some Ruminations on a Rainy COVID afternoon? (The answer is yes people. Y. E. S.!)

  • Did you know that a Catholic Cardinal and a 20 lb turkey have something in common? No I didn’t oh wise old blogger who may or may not be spending w. a. y. too much time alone! (How is it possible to be learning such importantly earth-shattering facts whilst having so much fun?) What’s your best guess dearest readers? Take a moment to ponder and pontificate. Ready? Here we go….A cardinal has the Pope’s ear and a 20 lb turkey has his nose.
  • Did you know that hockey players and Tinder swipe-righters have something in common? Do Tell! From what I hear, they both love hat tricks.
  • If a priest gets collared for un-Christian-like behaviour, what does a nun get in trouble for? (Her bad habits).

Ok….time to get serious!

Why you ask? Well as I mentioned last week, my scale has been saying some very weighty things to me, (I mean how much more can you possibly take off before getting on the scale, when you’re already nude? Hmmmm- I wonder how much skin tags weigh?). But I digress.

So in the interests of all of you who are ingesting more calories than the Guinness Book of World Record’s heaviest human being, Jon Brower Minnoch, who weighed in at 1,400 pounds, 635 kilograms, 100 stone, (and died at 41 of obvious causes), I have put together a little list of exercise activities that I thought we could all try over these next few added weeks of self-isolation. Unfortunately, as you’ll see, the reasons/excuses not to execute said exercises, pour moi anyways, became detriments for me. But pa-leeeeese feel free to borrow any or all suggestions.

Ready? All warmed up? Let us begin.

  1. Discipline: Ballet   Reason I can’t. I get distracted SO easily when I’m at the bar. Has anyone seen Mr. Goodbar?
  2. Discipline: Squash   Reason why not? I already put it in my soup
  3. Discipline: Tai Chi Reason Why not? I’m more a ‘moves like Jagger’ kind of girl
  4. Zumba: I keep mixing it up with Zoom
  5. Conjugal visiting: The joints are hurtin’ major, plus the kids really don’t want another brother or sister
  6. Yoga: Definitive reason why not…FF might mistake my corpse pose for the real thing

Corpse poseWell would you look at that! I have a sympathy plant already!

(Photo credit: Can Stock Photo Inc. @fizkes)

Speaking of exercise, here’s my most popular baking entry for Week 5 of COVID Self-Isolation…

As voted by my isolation buddy…..FF

Salted Caramel SconesRaspberry pecan salted caramel scones

My home-adapted recipe called for strawberries- but mine had more grey fuzz on them than a 12-week self-isolating couple; and the recipe called for Skor bits but my Skor bits bag was raided for a Rice Krispies and Skor bits in my cup midnight run. (You laugh…but you just wait!  I know you’re shaking your head right now, but then one lonely night when there’s nothing left in the fridge and your once-a-week-allowed-by-Douggie-Ford- grocery-shop isn’t happening for another five days, you’ll remember this little treat and you’ll think, why the hell not! She’s still alive! But then again…see Exercise #6)

Anyhoo… I rummaged about in the Mother-Hubbard-almost-bare-cupboard and found an unopened, (and not expired!) bag of salted caramel chips. And bam! We’ve got a brand new recipe folks: Raspberry pecan salted caramel scones. FF says they’re to die for (You’ve got it…see Exercise #6)

As we serve another week

And I bid you adieu

I’m beginning to look like

That old woman in the shoe.

Raptors owl

 #Keep Trucking            

 #Keep Positive

#Keep thankful for our Healthcare Heroes

#Keep laughing