Book Reviews

Book Reviews – No. 11:Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, by Emily Austin

Gilda is an atheist and a lesbian, two definitives that are at the exact opposite end of Roman Catholic philosophy.


Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead

by Emily Austin


Gilda is an atheist and a lesbian, two definitives that are at the exact opposite end of Roman Catholic philosophy. But when she finds a flyer offering free mental health support, something she desperately needs, Gilda heads out to 1919 Peach Tree to take advantage of ‘said’ help. Somewhere, however, there has been a mix-up in messages and Gilda finds herself standing outside an enormous gothic church to which she naively climbs the steps.

When the priest, Father Jeff, asks her if she is there for the receptionist job, one which has recently become available due to the death of the longstanding previous receptionist, Grace Moppet, Gilda, in her confusion stammers Y-Yes… and the delightful saga of Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, begins.

Emily Austin’s writing is full of witty phrases and truly laugh-out-loud imagery.

When told that Grace was ‘lost to the Lord’ Gilda opines that ‘losing someone to the Lord makes it sound like God steals people.’

And even though she is down and out financially, Gilda feels she can’t take just any job as her skills and her employment options are limited. In fact, Gilda shares that she is a bad actress and so she wouldn’t make it as a sex worker because she is, after all, a lesbian.

Austin paints some charming images relative to the Catholic Church’s religious iconography, things such as the ubiquitous stained glass windows in Catholic buildings:

“[The] red-stained glass windows let bloodshot light spill all over the pews.”

On one occasion when she is hungry and without many groceries, Gilda creeps into the church rectory to steal some crackers to go with her block of cheese.

“It turns out that the crackers I stole are the body of Christ. After eating more than half the bag, I googled the cracker brand and learned that I paired marble Cracker Barrel cheese with God’s transubstantiated body.”

And when Eleanor, Gilda’s ‘girlfriend’ texts her while she is working at the church, Gilda doesn’t respond. She feels uncomfortable answering her lesbian lover at work “because I’m worried Jeff and the Catholics will be able to sense I am doing something gay.”

Narrated with self-deprecating and wry humour, Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, happens over some of the most important seasons in the Catholic liturgy: Advent; Twelvetide; Ordinary Time; Lent; Easter;

Although Gilda’s thoughts are often taken up with suicidal thoughts and she spends an inordinate amount of time in emergency departments, these situations are handled in such an intriguing and introspectively interesting way that as a reader I was happy to walk the path with Gilda, knowing that she would make it – if only because of her delicious sense of humour.

I thoroughly enjoyed Austin’s writing and delighted in both the storyline and Austin’s humourous turns of phrases. 

On Sale July 6th from Simon & Schuster

#Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead #Netgalley @cecemscott

Cece is the feature cover writer for several prestigious publications and is an informed, connected and enthusiastic book blogger at  Her first book, The Love Story, was published in 2019. Her second book will be coming out in the spring of 2021.

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12 thoughts on “Book Reviews – No. 11:Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, by Emily Austin

  1. Rebecca Middleton says:

    Thanks for the review. We all need a good laugh about now.

    Please enter me in the contest

    Rebecca Middleton on FB or my email

  2. Marilyn Brown says:

    The humour, the setting, the characters–the plot–all these appeal to me.

    As a person who did not grow up as a Catholic–the religious scenarios were inspiring and perplexing.

  3. Carol Karl says:

    This sounds like a hilarious book. I love the juxtaposition of the two sides.

  4. Dijana Maderic says:

    This is a test entry for Dijana

  5. Sara says:

    Amazing review! I need a little of this light in my life 🙂

    My insta is- @saraleebooknerd

  6. Dijana says:


  7. This sounds like a very interesting book! I like the little snippets you provided and how the author is local too! I saw this book advertised at a local Indigo but had no idea what it was about, now I’m curious!

  8. Dijana Maderic says:

    This sounds like a great read!

  9. Gloria says:

    I find Books that are witty and unusual fun and intriguing – which this book sounds like.

  10. Michele says:

    Love your review! Sounds like a delightful read – just what we all need in our all-too serious world.

  11. Carol Ezovski says:

    Please enter me. I really enjoy boys with some humor to them and this sounds like it would really fit into that category! Instagram: @Cezovski9

  12. Emma says:

    The intro speaks of finding help on Peach Street, reminds me of a time when I found help and salvation of a different kind on an Ash street once. This sounds laiden with humor, and written with just the attitude I need at this moment. Thanks for the chance to win the book!

Comments are closed.